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Monday, 6 October 2008, 07:30

I'm in lectures at 9 but haven't been able to sleep yet. I keep ringing Lilly and at first it rang but then she must have turned it off, which pretty much proves that she doesn't want to talk to me. I don't know what to do and I know I need to make it better but I don't know how.

I wish Lilly would let me explain. I tried to on Saturday night, but she was too upset to really listen to me. She's so amazing, I feel gutted for hurting her. She looked so stunning on Saturday, and so happy, and she knew people were talking about her but she didn't care, she let it go over her head. She was smiling all night, and it was perfect when we were out in the garden together having a little chat.

I'm such an idiot to screw it all up!!!