Josh Baker

Friday, 3 October 2008, 04:57

stupid, stupid prick.

I can't believe it, I'm SO STUPID. I can't believe what I've just gone and done, I'm so fucked off with myself right now. I've ruined everything, I've been such a fucking idiot!!!

It's 5am and I've just got home from Summer's house. I went over there to yell at her after she spoiled an amazing night between me and Lilly by sending her a threatening letter telling her to back off. So I stormed over and her mates were all smiles as they let me in. I went into Summer's room and she was in her night clothes. I yelled at her and asked her what the hell she was doing, and we had an argument about what was going on between me and Lilly, and what had happened between me and me. Summer was being totally unreasonable and I yelled at her so much that I made her cry. So then I felt bad and went and sat on her bed next to her and gave her a hug, told her that this couldn't carry on and she had to stop what she was doing. She went into this sob story about Lilly purposely taking me off of Sum to get revenge, and that Sum didn't want to see me get hurt, yadda yadda.

And then she kissed me. And I pulled back but we all know what Summer's like. She always gets what she wants. I can't believe I gave in. I can't believe I slept with Summer.

And it meant nothing. And now I'm home, I've realise that it's all been a set up. Sum has well and truly screwed me over. She used me to get one over on Lilly. And now after tonight and the stuff that me and Lilly said to each other, I know that she's going to be really hurt. I'm gutted; I'm crazy about her. But it's all my fault, I gave in and I'm gonna have to deal with it.

I'm so fucking angry with myself.