Josh Baker

Wednesday, 15 October 2008, 01:20

green eyed monster...

Okay so tonight I found out I'm pretty much not ok about what happened between me and Lilly. I went to the pub with the guys because it's pound a pint night, and straight away found myself looking for Lilly. And there she was, sitting in the corner with her legs folded under her, a glass of wine in her hand, deep in conversation with some uber cool guy I've seen Lauren hang out with a lot. He must be on her course. Anyway he and Lilly looked pretty snug, and it made me feel pretty shit.

I know I'm looking into it far too much but I hate it. Whether they're just friends or not is none of my business - nothing even really happened between us and she can date whoever she likes whenever she likes - but I should be that guy. He was really tall and broad with blonde hair - I'm sure I've seen him around before, he might be on the reserve rugby team.

I was so tempted to go over and say hey but I bumped into their friend Tammy at the bar and she said it probably wasn't wise, as Lilly was trying not to think about it. "Oh, and, before you say it, they're just friend. Just hanging out." Was I that obvious? I'm an idiot.

Me and the guys sat down to watch the footy and eventually Lilly looked over. She kind of gave me a little wave but then carried on with her conversation with this guy, laughing and joking with him.

I never ever get jealous as well, so I hate how it feels. I hate knowing that it's awkward between us. But I'm just gonna have to put up with it, aren't I?